


The Plot Thickens

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: First Time, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-23
Updated: 2006-03-23
Packaged: 2019-02-02 04:30:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12719700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Spot the cliché.





	The Plot Thickens

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Warnings: The usual sex and language and chronic overuse of hackneyed plot lines.  


* * *

"If I didn't know better I'd say this was one of those really bad and overused plot lines," Daniel muttered. 

"What? What the fuck are you jabbering on about now, Daniel?" Jack retorted. 

"Look at us, Jack. We're here, stuck on a planet, in a cave. There's been a cave-in. Fortunately, we have a tent and some sleeping bags. Unfortunately, it's so fucking freezing we're having to **share** the sleeping bags or our dangly bits will drop off." 

"And this is like a plot line how?" Jack was confused. 

"Aw, c'mon Jack. Never heard of UST?" 

"UST? UST? What in God's name is UST?" 

"Unresolved sexual tension, Jack." 

"WHAT? What the fuck has that got to do with us?" 

Daniel looked as askance as he could without those glasses that made him look so studious and cute. 

"Jack," he sighed, "surely you've noticed. The way we fight, the way you try to kill anyone that so much as looks at me sideways, the way you always insist that it's **me** that shares your tent. You fancy me, but you're just not going to admit it." 

If Jack'd had the space he'd have jumped back, but he was as trapped as Daniel in the bag. 

"Crap! I look out for you because you're my friend. Fancy you? Sheesh, Daniel, why on earth would I do something stupid like that?" 

Daniel considered this and sighed again. 

"You're right. Of course you wouldn't want to do something as stupid as that." He turned around and faced away from Jack, his mercurial mind wondering what other tried and tested plot lines he could come up with. 

Jack felt lousy now. He'd insulted Daniel and he knew it. The guy was a god, unfortunately. But he couldn't do a damned thing about it, could he? How could he? He was the CO of the team, for crying out loud. CO's didn't go around screwing their subordinates. But then, Daniel was a civilian. And a GUY! That was soooo against regs. Even if it was fun. No, no, no, not a good idea. Nooooo O'Neill, put it out of your mind NOW! 

He heard Daniel's breathing even out and figured he was asleep. Good. He could forget that this conversation had ever taken place. He shut his eyes and started to drift off too. 

Jack woke with a start. Daniel was screaming in a mix of languages and thrashing about. He span around as quickly as he could and grabbed hold of his friend, rocking him in his arms and crooning gently until Daniel calmed down. He was surprised when Daniel turned to face him and snuggled up closely, resting his head on his chest and holding him tightly. And smiling. Still, he was quiet, so it was all for the best, wasn't it? 

Morning came - along with the usual clichéd male problem. In duplicate. Jack tried to let go of Daniel, but Daniel, still asleep, clung tighter. Jack nearly screamed as Daniel's groin pushed against his. Wood didn't begin to describe his current state. A fucking steel girder would have been closer. Tensile steel at that. 

Daniel started to moan in his sleep. "Shau're, love you so much." 

'Aw,' Jack thought, 'that's so sweet', till Daniel tried humping his leg. 

Now this was getting beyond a joke, and was certainly above and beyond the call of friendship. Even close friendship. 

"Daniel," Jack whispered, shaking him gently by the shoulder. 

There was no response - unless you counted the increasingly urgent rocking of hips and poking of... other things... of course. Which Jack didn't - abso-fuckin'-lutely didn't, no way! 

"Daniel!" A little louder, this time, but it was hopeless. He might just have well been shouting at some of those trees that he loved so much to encounter off-world, for all the good it did. The archaeologist drowsed on, oblivious and increasingly insistent. 

"DANIEL!" 

Daniel started, snorted, and generally came to, or something approaching that state, rather more rapidly than he would normally have cared to. And with rather more drool than he might otherwise have been wholly comfortable with. 

"Whaaa?" 

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. This is your early morning wake-up call, before you do something that you might regret." 

"What the fuck are you talking about, Jack? Shut up and leave me alone. I was having the most beautiful dream..." 

"My point exactly, Daniel. You **were** having the most wonderful dream. **I** appreciate that, and I'm only an innocent bystander. Would you care for a moment to pull yourself together, review the content of your dream and then pause to consider exactly **where** you are choosing to have this dream?" 

Daniel blinked, confused and disorientated after being woken up so suddenly and took a moment or two to consider his circumstances. Nothing wrong that he could see - he was warm, he was comfortable, and he was feeling pleasantly turned on. Everything fine, then. He burrowed back down into the depths of the sleeping bag. 

"Jack, do me a favour? Bother me in the morning, not now. It's still dark. Go back to sleep. I'm going to." 

"Uh-uh, not if you're going to try and get back into the same dream again, you're not. This sleeping bag ain't big enough for the four of us. And of **course** it's dark. We're trapped in a cave, for crying out loud." 

As was usual first thing in the morning, only about one word in five penetrated Daniel's caffeine exclusion zone. And very, very slowly at that. 

A tousled head slowly emerged, tortoise-like, from the depths. 

"Four?" 

Jack nodded firmly. "Four." 

"Two, Jack. You and me. Two." 

"Four. I know what I said, Daniel, and I meant it. Definitely four. You, me and two... significant others." 

Daniel considered Jack's statement as far as his pre-caffeined brain would allow. Ah. Um. He didn't.....did he? He hadn't....had he? Had Jack? Ooops. However, this had potential. He'd been trying to get Jack to admit to his feelings for absolutely ages. Here was their chance. But how? What could he do? He could admit it all to Jack but Jack, being Jack, would probably deny everything. 

Daniel let out a little giggle as the words, 'Jack, King of De Nile' rattled about in his brain. 

"Daniel?" 

"Jack?" 

"You giggled." 

"I didn't." 

"You did. You screwed up your nose and giggled." 

"I don't giggle. I'm a grown man. I laugh - maybe chortle, but I do **not** giggle." 

"Chortle? Chortle?" Jack shook his head at the choice of words and also wondered why Daniel was starting to get pissy with him. After all, it was his leg that had been humped. "You giggled," he insisted and turned his back on Daniel so that his friend wouldn't become aware of the aroused state that he was **still** fucking in. 'How come?' he thought. 'It's not fair! We were arguing, for goodness sake.' 

Jack gasped as he felt Daniel move right up to him and then shuddered as Daniel's breath touched his neck. 

"Chortled," he said defiantly. "What's wrong with that?" 

Daniel would appear to want a fight. 'And why?' Jack asked himself. 'It's a) morning, b) cold and c) no coffee. Of course Daniel was spoiling for a fight. Well, Jack was getting pretty mad himself so he turned around suddenly and found himself face to face, nose to nose even with a feisty Daniel. 

"Nothing," he squeaked and rolled onto his back. 

Daniel was getting pretty desperate. The aching hard on that he'd had for months now wouldn't go away. He wanted Jack. Jack wanted him. Didn't he? Oh what did he have to do? 

His brain wasn't functioning particularly well at this point so he worked on instinct. First thing he had to do was get out of the sleeping bag. He didn't say a word to Jack, just got out and stalked off to the back of the cave. 

"Daniel? Daniel! Where the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing?" Jack's voice echoed throughout the cave. 

"At the back of the cave, Jack," he replied and then got mad. "Taking a leak. Why? Did you want to watch?" 

Jack really had no idea how to react to that. The fact that the first answer that came to his mind was 'yes' frankly disturbed him. 

Low moans came from the back of the cave, and Jack wondered if Daniel had been completely truthful. 

Daniel had. Sort of. Trouble was, it was incredibly difficult to pee skyward, which was the direction in which his dick was pointing. 'Soooo,' he thought, 'I'd better do something about that first.' Another thought struck him as he leaned against the cave wall, firmly stroking himself, he did tend to moan when he was having sex. Any form of sex. On his own, with a partner or two....yup, he could get pretty noisy. Perhaps this wasn't a good idea. 

Another trouble was, he was too far gone to stop. So he stuffed his left hand in his mouth to muffle the noises that would inevitably want to make their way out. And his right hand....well, it was in cahoots with his dick and wasn't going to stop until he came. 

This had to be quick, he told himself and went straight to his favourite fantasy. The one where Jack would slam him up against the wall, rip his pants down and go down, taking him whole. Just the thought of running his fingers through Jack's hair as he held that grey covered noggin steady while he fucked his mouth was usually enough to make Daniel come screaming the place down. Not today. Stage two of the fantasy involved a wiped out Daniel being turned onto his hands and knees while Jack took him from behind, thrusting hard, hitting 'the' spot time and time again. Growling at him, telling him that he loved him, that he owned him even. Daniel could accept that - he'd give almost anything to 'be' Jack's. So long as Jack was his...of course. 

What he didn't realise was that Jack had taken him up on his flippant offer and come to watch. Standing in the shadows he couldn't take his eyes off the scene unfolding before him. And he was wanting in on the action. 

Just as Daniel's penile/manual declaration of independence had taken over his actions, Jack's mouth and scrotum had a quick convo and decided that to hell with the brain, they were going for it. And if Jack's brain was to argue about it, they could table a meeting for all the major organs to discuss the actions in about - ooh - a month from now. By which time, his genitals pointed out, the brain would probably be outvoted, so what the fuck? 

Daniel was stunned as he felt his hand being ripped away from his dick. He was positively stupefied by the sight of Jack going down on his knees in front of him. By the time Jack's mouth engulfed his dick, he had lost all capacity for rational thought and to be frank, he couldn't give a shit. His hands found their way to Jack's hair as they had night after night in his dreams and his hips started to move. 

If Daniel had been capable of thought at this point, he would probably have been worried about Jack's experience in these matters - or inexperience. He had no idea whether Jack actually knew what he was doing here. However two things were working in Daniel's favour at this moment. One - Jack appeared to know what he was doing on the grounds that Daniel was currently getting the best blow job he had ever got. Two - his IQ was currently topping around the start of double figures so he couldn't possibly begin to think, let alone consider the implications. 

His moans got louder and louder, turning into yells and finally screams as he came hard in Jack's mouth. His knees buckled and he dropped to the floor, grasping at Jack who currently had the look of an idiot given two shovels and told to take his pick. Confused didn't begin to describe him. As Daniel's IQ started to rise again, he took hold of Jack's head in both his hands and started to kiss him. And kiss him. And Jack was considering stopping this at some point, mainly because he knew from personal experience that anoxia wasn't pleasant. 

Jack gasped for air as Daniel broke away, fully intending to dive straight back in for another go, till Daniel's voice dropped low and husky and he said "Fuck me Jack." 

Working purely on instinct now the men somehow made their way back to the tent. Daniel managed to have enough presence of mind to search out something to use as a lubricant, and finding the ever present tube of sun block he handed it to Jack, kicked his boots and pants off and got in his dream position. Hands and knees, ass up in the air, growling orders for Jack to fucking get on with the fucking already. 

One thing that Jack had learned over the years of friendship was that when Daniel insisted on something, it was usually safer for all involved to accede to his demands. So he did. He **had** done this before. About 25 years in the past. Not something that he stuck on his résumé. Colonel John O'Neill, USAF, MSc, occasionally gay. It just didn't do much for a guy's prospects. Reasoning that it was probably a better idea to do what Daniel told him though, he did. With enthusiasm. Drawing on his memories he used every trick he could remember, and drove Daniel out of his mind. 

Daniel couldn't believe his luck. His fantasies were coming true. He was on his knees having had a stunning blow job and was now getting his brains fucked out. Just how he liked it. And Jack was goooood. Every bit as good as fantasy Jack. Whooooo momma. This would be a session to write home about - if he had folks, which he didn't, and that was probably a good thing. He doubted his parents would be too thrilled to receive a letter saying: 

 

 

Daniel let out a snort as his mind played its usual trick on him and sent him places he really didn't want to be. 

Jack nearly ground to a halt as he heard Daniel starting to laugh. His body had other ideas though and he came hard instead, taking a rejuvenated Daniel with him and collapsing onto the ground. He collected his wits, which were currently running around his brain screaming 'We just fucked Daniel Jackson!!! Yay!!!' and managed to withdraw as gently as possible. Then he pulled Daniel into his arms and turned his lover to face him. 

He had been expecting a look of exhaustion, maybe a look of love. What he wasn't expecting was near hysteria. Daniel had been doing his damnedest not to laugh out loud as his brain had gone on its warped way and written even more of the letter home. 

Daniel let go and laughed himself sick. Jack was hurt. He told Daniel that he was hurt. 

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Jack, I'm not laughing at you, love. No way. Just my brain doing its thing again. You were amazing. Better than amazing. Fucking incredible. And I want you to do that again." He sounded hopeful. 

"What **now**? I'm 45 Daniel. Once is all you're going to get!" 

"Not now, Jack. Jeez, I may be permanently horny but even **I** don't expect that. No, I meant when we get home. You **do** want that, don't you?" 

"What were you laughing about?" Jack asked suspiciously, thinking that any decisions about their future really depended on Daniel's answer. However, when Daniel told him....... 

"Letter home? You are fucking priceless, Dr Jackson," and he burst out laughing too. 

The two of them lay on the floor, laughing hard till they caught each others' eyes and suddenly stopped. 

"Jack?" 

"Danny," Jack's voice was tender and Daniel knew there and then that they would be okay. 

He leaned over to his lover and kissed him gently. 

"Love you," he murmured against his mouth. 

"God, I fucking love you Danny, so much," came the groaned reply. 

They were about to go for round two of kissing and groping when a crackle came over Jack's radio. Sam and Teal'c had arrived. 

They got cleaned up and dressed as quickly as they could, packed everything away and sat and waited for the rescue team to use the equipment they had brought to dig them out. 

"Jack, you do want to..." 

"Absolutely. As soon as we..." 

"Good. You know I meant what I ..." 

"Me too, Danny. Didn't know you were..." 

"Same here. You've got some explaining.." 

"Yeah. You too Danny Boy." 

"Boy?" Daniel looked askance. 

Jack just grinned as the rescue team broke through.


End file.
